Tag Archives: black and white

A Swan, Timeless

I did it again- I allowed myself to drop into that space where the excuses and emotions outweigh the drive. Again I found myself wondering- Why, pray tell do i feel like hell? scratches head… hm… ‘did i practice yesterday?’ no ‘ well, what about the day before… what day is that?… tuesday…’ no, no practice- hm- now, dare i think back to monday? haha, no, i don’t have too, i already know the answer.

It’s been emotional, astrologically, internally… More family members passing. Discussions, confusions, transmissions, apprehensions- all one big bubble ready to pop and re-join the ether.

So why then is it so easy to NOT do the “thing” that will make me feel better? Why? Because it’s easier to drop into that pattern. Yep- that is the EASY ROAD- you heard me. If you’ve known me for a while, a long while, you know that I know what the dark side looks like- in multiple ways. I am, unfortunately, quite versed in this type of existence- and when it “creeps” up on me- i can see it coming from miles away (similar to smelling guilt from across the country) but yet, even with my in depth understanding of it, the reaction is still like greeting an old friend (admittedly much much less though as time goes on). Each time i work at this- sometimes i *win* sometimes i “habit”- either way i learn.

Today, instead, I’m going to get on the yoga mat and I’m going to do it at home. AND i am looking forward to it- I’m looking forward to moving the furniture, sweeping the floor, rolling out my mat and giving myself the two hour backbend “class” that i need. I may not feel like a swan floating on water today- but i will feel better after i finally practice…